hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
In America we eat man semen.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
