We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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