Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
