It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
