So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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