once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Randomize
