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he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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