I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I wannas sexs uuuuu
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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