Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
