what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
