Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
