Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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