I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
