I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
