I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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