He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
