She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
