i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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