the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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