i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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