well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You made out with two different species that night
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
