I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
