So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
honey bunches of taint.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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