you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
