I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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