I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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