Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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