i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
