At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We left an ass print on the piano.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
