I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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