It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
