No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Randomize
