Its about making memories worth repressing
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
