Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
