thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize