i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
