I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
