She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
