if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
