we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
