I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Dick very happy bro
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
