I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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