I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
