Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
nutella sex= disaster
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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