FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
