Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
