i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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