I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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