I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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