At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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